No matter where you live across this great country of ours, one thing binds all fantasy football enthusiasts together—the joy of the live draft. After dozens and dozens over the years, we've come to the conclusion that there are one, if not all, of these 8 basic personalities at every draft.
The Favorite-Team Guy
He drafts only guys from his favorite NFL team....no matter how crappy the team might be. You know, that guy who's a die-hard Lions fan and he's sincerely smiling when he grabs QB Matt Stafford in the third round.
It's not like everyone doesn't bring their list of picks, but this guy has 15 draft guide magazines, a laptop with drafting software, spiral-bound notebooks full of secret scribblings, and a draft guru on the telephone.
No fantasy football league ever starts with the girlfriend, but two or three seasons into it, it happens. You look over and there she is...your buddy's girlfriend is making picks at your draft. And every single pick she makes is punctuated with the question, "Is he any good?"
It never fails. Someone invites their dad, or older friend from the office to join in. He randomly yells out "Bradshaw!" or "Staubach!" and asks if Walter Payton is still available.
Past the second round of your draft, he's completely and hopelessly lost. Unable to focus, he has no clue who he's picking or when he's supposed to pick. He's constantly going out of turn. To make matters worse, he's picking guys that have already been picked. By the 5th round he's gone from telling his pick to asking, "Uh, has anybody picked (fill in the blank)?"
He's the reason that you instituted a 60-second time limit on draft picks in the first place. He so agonizes over each choice that he's all but frozen after the first round.
It happens every year. Something came up: his mom is in the hospital, his girlfriend planned their vacation the same week, he just can't make it. Panicked, he usually asks one of his buddies at the draft to pick for him. And faxes him over some hand-scribbled, illegible notes on a dozen guys "he'd like you to get for him." Then, of course, he spends the rest of the season bitching about the team you drafted for him.
He isn't as bad as the guy who invited his girlfriend, but he's close. He can't make picks because his wife/girlfriend calls him 10 times during the draft. He moans each time the phone rings, but refuses to turn it off no matter how much you mock him. He's the reason you have to explain, "Honey, please don't call me during the draft."