Fantasy football draft day isn't just a day to pick your team, it's also a time for a fashion statement. And that fashion statement says a lot about your state of mind and likelihood of winning your league.
Mr. Unemployed
His Attire: Bathrobe.
What it Means: He's lost his job, his girlfriend, and is living in a crappy apartment. He's lost hope and is desperately looking for something he can excel in. Fantasy football is his one chance at greatness. Be concerned because he can spend all day watching ESPN and grabbing guys off the waiver wire while you're at work.
Odds of Winning the Season: Very, Very High
Mr. Over the Top
His Attire: Face paint, team jersey, headband, wrist band, arm tats with his favorite team on them. If an actual game breaks out, he's ready to play.
What it Means: He loves football. No, really, he LOVES football. He loves it so much he doesn't have a girlfriend or any semblance of what guys call, "a chance in hell of getting a girl." Especially during football season. With no girl in the picture he has all the time in the world to scan injury reports and watch games.
Odds of Winning the Season: High
Her Attire: VERY low-cut shirt.
What it Means: She's hot and knows it. She uses her best assets to get what she wants and draft day is no different. As you ponder your first-round picks, she's leaning over to grab chips off the table, rubbing lotion on her arms and legs, and spilling beer down her chest ("Oopsies!"). You know what she's doing, and don't care. That is, until you realize you've drafted the entire Detroit Lions team.
Odds of Winning the Season: Medium
Mr. UnemployedHis Attire: Bathrobe.
What it Means: He's lost his job, his girlfriend, and is living in a crappy apartment. He's lost hope and is desperately looking for something he can excel in. Fantasy football is his one chance at greatness. Be concerned because he can spend all day watching ESPN and grabbing guys off the waiver wire while you're at work.
Odds of Winning the Season: Very, Very High
Mr. Over the TopHis Attire: Face paint, team jersey, headband, wrist band, arm tats with his favorite team on them. If an actual game breaks out, he's ready to play.
What it Means: He loves football. No, really, he LOVES football. He loves it so much he doesn't have a girlfriend or any semblance of what guys call, "a chance in hell of getting a girl." Especially during football season. With no girl in the picture he has all the time in the world to scan injury reports and watch games.
Odds of Winning the Season: High
Miss Distraction
Her Attire: VERY low-cut shirt.
What it Means: She's hot and knows it. She uses her best assets to get what she wants and draft day is no different. As you ponder your first-round picks, she's leaning over to grab chips off the table, rubbing lotion on her arms and legs, and spilling beer down her chest ("Oopsies!"). You know what she's doing, and don't care. That is, until you realize you've drafted the entire Detroit Lions team.
Odds of Winning the Season: Medium