Texans' David Anderson Does ‪Cribs "Locked-Out"‬ Edition

Man, the lockout must be hitting Houston Texans wide receiver David Anderson pretty hard. In this funny tour of his crappy offseason Manhattan Beach crib, Anderson shows off his inflatable bed, broken dishwasher, and burns himself lighting a candle. The video ends with the plea, "End the Lockout!" The most depressing part? It's still nicer than our place.

Carolina Panthers RBs Plank the Sh#t Out of a Goal Post

In case you were wondering how Carolina Panthers' running backs Jonathan Stewart and Tyrell Sutton are spending their time during the lockout, well it seems they are planking goal posts. And doing a heck of a job of it. For those not familiar with planking, it's basically lying down ridig (like a plank) on various objects and taking your picture. Why? Uhhhh, not a clue. There's even a Facebook page devoted to it.

NASCAR 2011 Picks: Top Drivers at Daytona International Speedway

Who are the top statistical performers at Daytona International Speedway going into the Coke Zero 400 this weekend?

Well, we know. Here's a quick look at who you should consider for your fantasy NASCAR team. Of course, please note that Trevor Bayne's top position should come with the realization that he's only raced (and won) at Daytona once.

Cam Newton Sort of Shows How To Throw A Perfect Spiral (VIDEO)

So the idea is simple, top NFL draft pick Cam Newton is doing a photoshoot for GQ, where he dresses up like a preppy a-hole while trying to teach a completely disinterested female photographer how to throw a football. Mission accomplished. And we especially love the part where no football is ever thrown. Of course, this could be remarkably similar to his first season at Carolina. (Insert rim shot here.)

Alison Haislip Invites Us Into Her Place

Alison Haislip, the super hottie from G4, took Esquire inside her home, where she apparently enjoys playing the piano in her underwear. Don't worry Alison, we do the same thing. Well, except for play the piano.

Check out Alison's entire Esquire shoot.

Allen & Vucevic Look Thrilled to Be 76ers…OK, maybe not

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but this photo only says six: "Oh sh%t, the 76ers drafted us." We've seen photos of prisoners getting orange jumpsuits that look happier than these guys.

Most Hilarious Motorcycle Race Accident Ever

All that's missing from this race bike accident is the "Benny Hill" theme music.

Peyton And Eli Manning are NFL Football Cops

Thanks NFL Lockout. Now Peyton and Eli Manning have WAY too much free time on their hands. That's the only thing that can explain this: A sneak peek at "Football Cops, the new cop drama starring Peyton and Eli Manning as MIKE TAHOE and C.J. HUNTER premiering this fall, only on DIRECTV." Kick-ass mustaches, btw.

Mark Cuban's Legal Document RULES!

Apparently the minority owner of the Dallas Mavericks filed legal papers last year claiming that Mark Cuban was a "carless and reckless" owner who was killing the team.

The minority owner asked a judge to give Cuban the boot before the team got too sucky.

In what may be the greatest legal document ever, Cuban responded to the accusations and included a picture (see above picture) of his team holding their championship trophy. GAME OVER!

(SOURCE: TMZ)

NASCAR 2011 Picks: Top Drivers at Sonoma's Infineon Raceway

Who are the top statistical performers at Sonoma, Calif.'s Infineon Raceway going into the Toyota/Save Mart 350 this weekend?

Well, we know. Here's a quick look at who you should consider for your fantasy NASCAR team.

21 Awesome Things Shaped Like a Baseball Glove

We love baseball gloves. We love the way a broken-in glove molds to our hand. We love the way it smells and the sound it makes when a baseball pops it just right. But some people apparently love baseball gloves even more than us. Like A LOT more. Check out these awesome examples of people taking the old mitt design and making it into something completely ridiculous, er, different. Behold!

Sophie Monk's Behind the Scenes Photoshoot

Sophie Monk is in a bikini. A very, very small bikini. Check out the video as Monk takes us through her sexy photoshoot for Maxim. And yes, it is spectacular.

Newspaper Fail: "John McIlroy wins US Open"

Having spent a lot of years in print, this is the sort of crap that gave me nightmares. Here it is one of the biggest golf tournaments in the world, with one of the greatest stories of a young golfer named Rory McIlroy and your newspaper headline reads "John McIlroy wins U.S. Open." Well, that nightmare came true for The Daily Herald in suburban Chicago today.

NASCAR 2011 Picks: Top Drivers at Michigan International Speedway

Who are the top statistical performers at Michigan International Speedway going into the Sour Cream Dips 400 this weekend?

Well, we know. Here's a quick look at who you should consider for your fantasy NASCAR team.

Mark Cuban is VERY Attached to His New NBA Trophy

Apparently Mark Cuban was VERY attached to the Larry O'Brien Trophy after his Mavericks won the NBA championship. And yes, we do believe this picture is real. (Wonder if he washed his hands afterwards?)

2 Hotties Try To Take Their Own Picture at a White Sox Game…Stop Us If You've Heard This One

So these two rather attractive ladies are a Chicago White Sox-Mariners game and decide to huddle up and take their picture together. The key word here is "TRY."

New ‪Madden NFL 12 Traile‬r Really Makes Us Miss Football A LOT

This new trailer for Madden NFL 12 debuted at E3 and it makes us both happy and depressed. Happy because it looks awesome and we're ready for some football. Depressed because there may be no season and we fear that ESPN make keep making us watch reruns of these women's softball games that seem to be populating the airwaves right now.

NASCAR 2011 Picks: Top Drivers at Pocono Raceway

Who are the top statistical performers at Pocono Raceway going into the 5-Hour Energy 500 this weekend?

Well, we know. Here's a quick look at who you should consider for your fantasy NASCAR team.

Worst Bunt in the History of Baseball (GIF)

(CLICK IMAGE)

On Friday night, Braves center fielder Jordan Schafer had to leave the game against the Mets after fouling a bunt attempt off his face. Yes, off his face. According to reports, Schafer is day-to-day with a small sinus fracture. Click the image above to see it in action.

Tebow Takes on The Daily Show (VIDEO)

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Denver QB Tim Tebow, who's promoting his autobiography, Through My Eyes, stopped by The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Tebow talked about his religious upbringing, helping orphans and thinks it's only fair for college athletes to have enough money for an Outback dinner and a scooter.

ESPN + SI = Tressel

Finally, those subscriptions to ESPN and SI are making sense.

Shaq Announces Retirement on Twitter

Leave it to NBA center and future Hall of Famer Shaquille O'Neal to announce his retirement over Twitter. In the video Twitter link, Shaq goes on to say:

"We did it. Nineteen years, baby. I want to thank you very much. That's why I'm telling YOU first. I'm about to retire. Love ya. Talk to you soon."

If you listen carefully, you can almost hear all the sports reporters screaming over not getting the exclusive scoop on this. 

NASCAR 2011 Picks: Top Drivers at Kansas Speedway

Who are the top statistical performers at Kansas Speedway going into the STP 400 this weekend?

Well, we know. Here's a quick look at who you should consider for your fantasy NASCAR team.

Fan Gets Clobbered: Don't Try to Shake Ichiro's Hand (VIDEO)

A Seattle Mariners fan found out the hard way that you might want to wait until AFTER the game to shake Ichiro's hand. Kudos to the security guard for the ground-pounding dive tackle.