Latest in Sports

December 20, 2011

12 Days of Crappy NFL Christmas Gifts


It happens every Christmas for sports fans. We gather around the tree and exchange presents with parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and distant cousins we haven't seen all year. They have no clue what to buy us, but in the distant recesses of their mind, they remember one thing—HE REALLY LIKES (insert favorite team name). The result? Absolute crap with a team logo on it. Here are 12 actual gifts that some poor NFL fan will get this year.


1. Carolina Panthers Slippers—These should come with a sign that says, "Please don't have sex with me." On second thought, you won't need that sign.



2. Men's End Zone Toboggan—This would be an awesome gift if it were England in the mid-1800s and your name was Ebenezer Scrooge… And the Ghost of Crappy Gifts was visiting.




3. Broncos Tie—Even David Carradine wouldn't wear this around his neck. (Too soon?)


 

4. Pleather Varsity Full Zip Jacket—Exactly how many pleathers had to die to make this jacket?





5. Spirit Fingerz Gloves—No. No. No……Dear Lord no.



6. Velcro Wallet—Because nothing says "I'm money" like the sound of Velcro. 




7. Legacy Twill Jacket—Very subtle. Does it come with a matching fanny pack?



8. NFL Chef Hat and Apron Set—Even chefs don't wear these hats, what makes you think we want to?



9. NFL Men's End Zone Jester Hat—Exactly how drunk do you think we get at these football games?


10. Vibrating Football Game—We'd almost rather watch the Colts play without Peyton Manning. Almost.



11. Miami Dolphins Rain Gauge—This will look great next to our Miami Dolphins Barometer you got us last year.


12. NFL Chess Set—Everything we love about football. Except for the action, excitement, suspense, revelry and fun.



No comments: